Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Who are you and why are you starting a blog anyway?

Let's just get it over with.  You know.. the initial post where I explain who I am and my grand goals for this venture.

Who am I? My name is Melaney but it's spelled weird, so everyone calls me Mel.  I am a married 30 something with great husband and an adorable dog who looks like a puppy even though he's five (the dog, not the husband) I live in an apartment in West Hollywood, but have nothing at all to do with the entertainment industry.  Really, I'm just your average mid-westerner living in a way more than average city.  Residing in such an image driven city has made me realize my middle of the road tendencies more and more.  For every "so LA" thing I do (for example, my love of raw juices and growing number of tattoos), it seems to be balanced by the my mid-western core (example: still believing that you should cook with butter).   I love cheese.  I talk to my sister almost every day.  My friendships are the thing I am most proud of in my adult life.

So why am I starting this blog? 
Fine question. In an era where everyone and everyone's dog has a blog, youtube channel and Etsy store,  I can't promise anything more than an exercise for myself and the few people that may have an interest in what I have to say. This isn't about money or fame.  I have no delusions of becoming some famous blogger when in reality, I suspect there are a million women just like me.  Average, flawed, amusing and definitely self-deprecating. 

The thing is this- I'll let you in on a small secret.  I'm really great at starting things and not great finishing them.  I'm not proud of this, but its true. Note to self: make a list of said things for a future post.

For example, I've started 3 blogs all with pretty decent commitment only to have them fall flat after a few months.  This may surprise any of you that know me professionally, as I'm a Project Manager by profession.  Those of you who know me personally may not be surprised at all.  I get really excited about something and sometimes lose interest or get distracted by the next shiny thing.  I'm sure many of you suffer from my same follow through issues.

The thing is, I used to write.  I used to write well and I used to write often. I wrote, because it's what I'd always done.  I wrote because I loved playing with words to try and describe a certain feeling.  I wrote because I am from a family of letter writers and early on I realized that I could organize my thoughts much better in print. I used to write because there was just no other option. 

But somewhere along the way I stopped.  I found other outlets. I fell in love like a grown up. I stopped hating myself, my parents and the small town I grew up in.  Life became less dramatic as hints of self acceptance started permeating this poetic soul. That feeling of impending combustion if pen didn't hit paper became fleeting.  However, it didn't stop the joy I felt when sending silly weekend recap emails to my girlfriends after we spent time together or the daydreams I had about putting together family memoirs.   Emily Dickinson said "I thought being a poem oneself precluded the writing of Poems", maybe I became the poem I always kind of wanted to be.

Maybe, just maybe, at the end of the day, I just got lazy because it got harder.  I'd picked all the low-hanging fruit. So here we go again, 3rd possibly 4th time may be the charm.  Wish me luck..