Monday, January 4, 2016

Tits out on the 405: 2015 in life lessons

Ten years. I've been officially writing these lists for a decade.  They are my time capsules- my touch points.  They are generally overly sentimental, sometimes funny and always honest.

1. There's nothing like driving & using a breast pump to make you feel liberated. "Tits out on the 405" isn't just a great way to sum up my 2015, it's also the title of my someday memoir.

2. Some of my favorite moments of the year have involved sharing unexpected truths with unsuspecting people at work.  The world stops for one beautiful moment and allows two people to be real with one another - to be vulnerable.  To me, this is at the core of what it means to live life fully awake and I believe we need more of this in our work-selves.

3. I survived this year on humor, coffee, gratitude & tequila.  All carry equal importance and feed the others.

4. There have been two times in my life that I've gone to bed decided on one thing and woken up completely convinced of something else.  The first was when I woke up with the clear intent that we needed to travel to India after determining we should save and start a family.   The second was deciding to quit my full time job to pursue an unknown path after rationalizing the safe route the evening before. The definitive feeling of these decisions is both calming & invigorating at the same time. It's nice to know that I'm working things out in my sleep but it's hard to wrap my head around the intensity with which these decisions are made subconsciously. 

5. At the end of the day, the single thing I am most proud of are my friendships. Every time I think I've hit capacity and my dance card is full, another person enters and I fall head over heels in love again.  These folks have added even more depth to the rich flavors of our already complex life in LA.  To think that VN is growing up surrounded by these weirdos is the best I could ever want for him but truth be told, I'm still trying to figure out why they like me.

6. Postpartum depression & perinatal mood disorders are very real and very common. It's time to talk about them, make a safe space for each other and push for the necessary changes to help prevent these from becoming even more commonplace.

7. Babies really are little Buddhas.  My son has a delicate way of holding up a mirror to my soul, causing me to take pause and then adjust.  He teaches me to live in the moment and reminds me how fleeting time really is.  I love his gentle, playful soul and remain grateful that he chose me to be his mom.

8. Sometimes your inner voice needs a megaphone to reach you and sometimes this megaphone takes the form of a friend.  If this happens, listen up. It's big.  A, thank you for being mine - you changed my life.

9. There are times & places to be passive. One of those places is NOT in the chair of your stylist. Be decisive. Be clear. Otherwise, you will end up with less hair than you bargained for. Trust me.

10. Even with all VN taught me this year, parenthood didn't make me a better person - my husband does.

Curious to know about years past? Here are my favorite lessons from the last decade:
  • 2005: Love alone does not float the boat but a renewed love of tequila helps fill the holes 
  • 2006: Sexy is a state of mind, not a dress size. 
  • 2007: That I don't like hiking, but I love the feeling you have when you get to the top, so therefore, I love hiking.
  • 2008: The more comfortable I feel with myself, the less I own. 
  • 2009: After years of thinking otherwise, it has become clear that I hate pastrami. Realizing this was one of the more definitive moments in my year.
  • 2010: If you never take chances, be it with design or life, you will always have white walls.
  • 2011:That although my partner may be the only one that finds me funny, that I am blessed to have the opportunity to make him laugh the rest of our lives.
  • 2012: fear of not being good enough prevented me from moving on for a long time.  
  • 2013: To accept that when I have said I can't do something, it has most often meant that I am unwilling to do something. 
  • 2014: People offering to help does not mean they don't think you are capable. It means they care.